Still Life and self portraiture
Noticing and capturing smaller details from day to day life
Photography, Creative Conceptualisation, Modelling by Rhea Gupte
1. the pesky photographs which parents at times summon with complete neglect for their offspring’s social status,
2. one-off embarrassing stories with you as the controversial star of the show which surface during rare reunions and
3. certain proof of those stories suspended forever in MySpace certain to never be chanced upon by an unsuspecting soul,
baby boomers did not have much to worry about their former selves, now packaged exactly or at least as close to the way they wished to be seen in the world. Fortunately or unfortunately, us millennials do not have the convenience of ‘anonymising’ our teenage selves into a suit-wearing, hair-combing oblivion. No. We have personally made sure to document the (hopefully) growth of our characters via our Facebook profiles, Twitter syllables and Instagram feeds, immortalised in code. It is partially a relief to know that those Snapchats are going to self-destruct and not leave a trace of your twenty-something self. And then if you are one those people who have gone ahead and started a corner in the internet dedicated to yourself, your passions and your voice in the way of a blog, you are in for a lifetime of meaty throwbacks, memories of your former self peeking through archives and the constant reminder of how you were.
This, in no way is my personal account of regretting blogging, far from it, but a confession of how the journey of improving and reaching a certain level of capability in your field, when documented, can be a huge motivational push to how far you have come and consequently also make one cringe endlessly at the lack of maturity and talent in their earlier selves. This is one of the reasons why I barely ever look through the FUSS archives, instead preferring concentrate on what’s next and what else can be done.
I bring this up because since the past one year, I have been practising photography and a few other mediums of expression. Taking up something new makes me feel unsure about putting it up on the interwebs, thinking of how an older Rhea will perceive this work. Definitely juvenile, poor in technique and understanding of the medium. Therefore the resultant four unpublished drafts, stagnating. Clearly I am not learning much from half-finished work secretly lying in the dark corners of my hard drive. Makes me think about how much I hate when people reach a level of excellence in a particular field and become utterly complacent in what they do, leading them to cease exploring their other potential abilities. Followed by the argument, am I not doing the same by limiting myself with self doubt and a perceived idea of future self-rejection and embarrassment? Co-incidentally, an interview of Diane Von Furstenberg gets recommended on my Youtube channel, I hit play and Diane, this magnanimous entity of thoughtfulness and grace, goes on to say that doubting your power is giving power to your doubt.
Resonates. I determinedly move forward to editing my pictures.
I have created a mini-series called Reality capturing day to day occurrences in life, how I see them. There is laughter, monotony, exhaustion, enthusiasm, determination, wonder, light. Extraordinary to the eye that sees and a mind that’s free.
Luckily later that day, I also came across Nick Knight on the internet, talking about the importance of performing during the photoshoot, the first reactions to the very first picture, failing in front of people and how humbling it is; amongst many other gems from his mind. Reassurance. It’s not just me.